I’ve coached many women who are brilliant, capable, and deeply committed to their work – yet they unknowingly use language that drains their authority. Not because they lack confidence, but because they’ve learned to sound “polite,” “collaborative,” or “non‑threatening.”
The problem? Those habits quietly tell the room not to take us seriously.
I once worked with a woman named Dana – a senior analyst who had been in the same role for nearly seven years. Her work was exceptional, but she kept getting passed over for leadership opportunities. When we reviewed her meeting transcripts together, the pattern became clear: every idea began with phrases like “I’m not sure, but…” or “I think maybe…” or “Does that make sense?”
She was handing away her authority before she even made her point.
We worked together to shift her language. Instead of “I’m not sure, but I think we should…” she began saying, “Here’s what I see.” Instead of “Does that make sense?” she simply paused and let her idea sink in.
Within two months, her colleagues started responding differently. They asked for her input first. They quoted her ideas. And when a team lead position opened, she was offered the role — not because she suddenly became more qualified, but because she finally sounded like the leader she already was.
That’s the power of language.
When you remove weak phrases, you don’t become someone else. You become the version of yourself who already knows what she’s talking about — the one people listen to and respect.
In today’s Confidence Shot, I share five of the most common confidence‑leaking phrases women use at work, why they matter, and what to say instead. You’ll learn how to replace hesitation with clarity, and how to speak with calm, grounded authority that commands attention without raising your voice.
Watch the video below, and start noticing the words you use every day. Small changes in language create big changes in how others perceive your expertise — and how you perceive yourself.
Your voice matters. Make it heard.