One of the most important commandments in the Hebrew Bible (which I would surmise is also included in other holy books) is the commandment to comfort the mourner.
Perhaps it is given so much importance in my own Jewish tradition because it is something that is so difficult to do.
What can you say in such a painful situation? How can you console someone who has suffered a loss, instead of avoiding that person and feeling guilty about it ever after?
The person who suffers the loss can end up feeling deserted by family, friends, and community, precisely at the time that caring support is needed the most.
You end up feeling uncomfortable around that person; and this often leads to a long-term negative effect on the relationship that you had shared, and perhaps even cherished.
Despite all my years as a speaking and messaging coach, I cannot recall anyone ever asking me for guidance on how to communicate with others in such a situation. Yet this situation inevitably comes to all of us.
Having had the occasion to attend the funeral of the dear niece of one of my husband’s cousins, I was inspired to make a video about this difficult subject. I hope that you find the thoughts I share to be helpful, and that the necessity to use them comes rarely in your life.
Love and blessings,